THE YEAR I LOST IT

That’s going to be the title of the first non-fiction book I write. I think. Probably. Unless it’s not. But you get the idea. Somewhere along the way I decided it would be a super good idea to turn 30, lose 100lbs, and write a book all in the same year. Hahahaha! I laugh now too. But back in January this seemed like a foregone conclusion.

If I could have predicted what would happen I probably would have just gone back to bed that day instead of embarking on this new journey. But I am glad I didn’t. Nothing in my life today is like it was in January and I am pretty darn grateful for that.

Writing a book is like birthing a baby. And I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies. (I had to say that line because everyone who has written anything ever in the world has to write it sometime, right? Now I never have to do it again). But seriously—it IS like giving birth. But more to the point, it’s like being pregnant for 100 years, or however long it takes to finish that book and send it out. But just like being born, the work on the book doesn’t stop. The childrearing has to begin.

I have to edit this puppy. And editing might be—definitely IS—much harder than the first draft. It’s a process that is so unfamiliar to me that I have stumbled a few times. I’ve put the pen down. I’ve been locked in fear and self-doubt about my abilities. But the difference between me as a writer this year and all the other years before, is that I would’ve just put this whole project down and proceeded to get distracted by shiny things. That almost happened.

Friends intervened though, God love ‘em!  They believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. They asked to read it, and I let them, and they told me what they thought. And they had a lot to say. But you know that none of them said I should learn a trade. And that’s the positive in the mix with all the work I still have to do. Facing that there’s more work to do is a hard thing for your pride, and it’s a hard thing for your mind.

The weight is going to go one pound at a time. The words are going to come one at a time. And then they’re going to get edited and may not even make it to the final draft. The point is I’m nowhere near where I was when I started this thing. I am not in control of the timeline. If I were, I’d be done by now. But one foot in front of the other and I am trusting that the Universe is going to bring me what I need!

Until next time,

 

~V

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